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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29736144">The Fool</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkDippedFingertips/pseuds/InkDippedFingertips'>InkDippedFingertips</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Spirits and Cocaine [21]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Narcos (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings Realization, Fluff and Angst, I Tried, I don't know, I like Javi's couch okay, Intimacy, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 20:47:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,530</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29736144</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkDippedFingertips/pseuds/InkDippedFingertips</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Javier Peña nearly died on a damp and drizzling Tuesday afternoon.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Steve Murphy/Javier Peña</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Spirits and Cocaine [21]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2100027</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>64</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Fool</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Prompt: Intimacy</p><p>Practice makes perfect but this still makes me cringe lol.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Javier Peña nearly died on a damp and drizzling Tuesday afternoon.</p><p>The bullet hit him square in the chest, sent him stumbling over slick stones, fingers scraping roughly against the brick wall next to him, knees painfully hitting the earth while he struggled to pull in air. He’d been saved, only by the fear of reprisal, by Escobar’s man lowering the gun six inches lower from where it has been aimed at his face, miraculously recognizing him as a member of the DEA.</p><p>In the end, the tactical vest, dirty and yellowed with age, saved his fucking life.</p><p>But the damage had been done.</p><p>Outside, just over the rapid thumping in his chest, Javier could just make out the sound of rain pounding against the building, torrential like it needed to make up for the slow pour of earlier in the day. Usually, the dampness settled into his bones, his skin and it would have if he didn’t feel warmer than he ever had in his life.</p><p>The vest was gone, tossed away in the back of his truck, the rest of his clothes too, had been discarded by shaking fingers and rough hands, scattered across his darkened apartment. In a way, he hadn’t been surprised by the ferocity of Steve’s reaction, had seen through watering eyes, the look of unadulterated fear, had heard the way his voice cracked when he’d found him on his knees.</p><p>Steve had experienced losing a partner once and Javier wouldn’t wish that on anyone.</p><p>Except this felt like something more, something that warmed his chest and terrified him in equal measure because this…this was not normal.</p><p>Javier was pressed firmly into the cushions of his couch, the old fabric molding around their weight. In his lap, Steve sat straddling him, knees tucked in close like he couldn’t bear for there to be a sliver of space between them and just as he had practically torn Javi’s clothes from his body, Steve had removed his own with a haste that still left his head spinning.</p><p>They’d been here before, was the thing.</p><p>Had panted into each other’s mouths, had shared bitten off cries of pleasure, fucked with a recklessness that they’d both feel guilty about later, had done it again and again and again, had needed some outlet and found each other willing enough.</p><p>This <em>felt </em>different though.</p><p>Javier’s cock was buried inside him, Steve preparing himself quickly and efficiently enough to make him wince at the tightness, was reassured by the voice murmuring in his ear, strained and hoarse; <em>please please please.</em></p><p>Like he needed it to breath.</p><p>One of Steve’s hands were tangled in his hair, the other was gripping his shoulder tightly enough to bruise but he couldn’t complain, was reminded with each squeeze of the way he’d held him in that alleyway, like he could hold him there forever, keep him from slipping away with his touch alone. Javier believed he could, in that moment when he’d been in too much pain to remember he wore a bulletproof vest, lungs straining, trying only to focus on his partner’s wide eyes. It would have been enough to keep him alive.</p><p>Javi wasn’t used to this, didn’t know what to do with his hands, found himself caressing Steve’s waist with each slow, easy roll of his hips, thumbs obsessively rubbing circles into his skin. Everything they’d done so far had been quick, messy, quiet…Javier had never had the time to feel him like this.</p><p>His skin was slick with sweat, the scent of them both thick with it and Javier wanted to bury his face in Steve’s neck but he was holding him in place, with that hand in his hair, keeping his head tugged back like he needed to see his expression and it was…overwhelming to meet the electric blue of his eyes, to see the intensity of emotions reflected there.</p><p>Except, Javi couldn’t stop himself, drawn to him like magnet because this was about the two of them, always about the two of them now, always by each other’s side and he never knew he could feel <em>so much</em>.</p><p>Steve’s brows were furrowed, lips slightly parted as his breathing grew heavier, and Javier knew he was hitting that spot inside him, the one that usually made him desperate for it, made him whine and beg when treated just right, was tempted to buck his own hips up on the next roll, arousal simmering in his abdomen, but he didn’t…because that wasn’t what this was about.</p><p>
  <em>Javi</em>
</p><p>He winced at the sound of his voice, barely above a whisper and watched the way Steve’s eyes grew darker, his hips moving with a bit more intent, the slightest increase in tempo, hole squeezing around his cock, making him gasp softly.</p><p>
  <em>Javi</em>
</p><p>Hearing his name in Steve’s voice, was almost too much. It didn’t have any of the fear from that afternoon, but the desperation was just the same. It must have been obvious what he was thinking about, because Steve tugged him forward until their foreheads touched and it was the easiest thing in the world to close his eyes.</p><p>Surrounded by Steve, his weight in his lap, the scent of his arousal, the quiet panting, his cock against his stomach, pulsing with each roll, he wasn’t surprised that he managed to hold back the images of the gunman, wasn’t surprised at all that only darkness met him.</p><p>Lips barely skated across his own and it was like some kind of spell broke, the one that had left them silent and needy, that had kept the too raw emotions inside Javier’s chest. He surged up, hands sliding higher on Steve’s back, finding damp skin and shifting muscle beneath his calloused palms, only to be met halfway by Steve.</p><p>Javier grunted lowly into the kiss, against the dual pain of Steve’s hand in his hair tightening and the ache where he’d been shot, where he would be bruised for weeks to come. It was messy and uncoordinated, lips meeting again and again, mustache tickling his lip, Steve’s tongue in his mouth, and the movement of Steve’s hips turning into something a little less smooth, a little more wanting. Despite himself, Javier dug his nails into Steve’s back, needing to hold on to something when everything else felt like it was slipping out of his control, stole the gasp from his partner’s lips and reveled in the way his hips stuttered.</p><p>Steve broke away from him briefly, pulled him right up against his chest, mouth pressed against the shell of Javier’s ear as his thrusts lost all rhyme or reason, and it hurt something fierce but he could no longer differentiate between the stinging ache from his bruise and the one deeper inside his chest.</p><p>Javier never considered himself a fool.</p><p>Until now that was.</p><p>He managed to slip a hand between their sweat soaked bodies, just barely got a grip around the head of Steve’s cock, knew that the friction between their stomachs wouldn’t be enough to get him off and tried not to think, tried to just succumb to this moment.</p><p>They hadn’t talked about it.</p><p>Not how they shared a bed at night, or how Steve’s wife was waiting from him at home. They didn’t acknowledge, the too soft looks they shared or that Steve was a father. They pretended they didn’t get off in backrooms or that Javi didn’t fuck hookers anymore. They didn’t talk about how they’d fallen and had yet to hit the bottom.</p><p>Javier can’t help but wonder if this is where they land.</p><p>Steve came first, crushing himself against Javier, cock twitching in his hand and hips slowing into that easy roll again, cum warm and messy between them, hole clenching hard enough that Javier has to bury his face in Steve’s neck to stifle a whine. All of these things, Javier had heard and felt before, except…well except.</p><p>“<em>Javi, Javi, Javi,”</em> his name, not just something tongues and lips grasp onto in the throes of pleasure, not just a sound to release tension, but a plea, a gasp that was almost distressed, like a revelation that had taken too long, like a man trying to make up for lost time. “<em>Javi</em>.”</p><p>He comes listening to the sound of his name, spoken in a way he’d never heard it before, Steve’s weight heavy on top of him, those damn fingers digging into his shoulder and tugging his hair until he tilts his head back, can’t open his eyes but knows that Steve is watching him all the same, feels his cock throb inside his partner’s heat, and lets himself feel, really feel for the first time just how much the man in front of him means to him, because it wasn’t something he knew how to deny anymore.</p><p>When he finally peeled back his eyelids, he was met with the sight of Steve’s flushed face, sweaty hair falling in front of his eyes, a tentative, uncertain smile on his lips, chest still heaving and Javier knew, he <em>knew</em> that they would never be able to go back to how they were before.</p>
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